Mom

20 Days Later

Mom had a stroke on 7/31. We were in Chicago for a work assignment of mine and lucky enough to get the chance to visit family. I scolded and lectured my mom about my brother a few days prior and upset her.  I was at my in-laws when I got the call from my mom asking me how I was doing. She sounded tired and a bit muffled but I didn’t really notice right away. She then proceeded to tell me that her face was a little droopy but there’s no need to panic because she thinks it may be an allergic reaction. Panic immediately set in and I asked her to go to the emergency room. I asked to speak with my sister and she was very calm and said she thought it was an allergic reaction to Benadryl or a depression symptom pill she took from a coworker. I yelled “Do you even know what a stroke is?!?” She was taken aback that I would accuse her of being inept at suspecting such a thing and said “Um…yes I do.” I said, “B, please just take her to the Emergency Room!” She said, “I have the boys here. And I think we are overreacting and should just wait.” I became very upset, asked to speak to mom again and begged her to go to the e.r. After hanging up, my entire lower body felt numb…cheeks burned…the beat of my heart pounded in my ears.  10 minutes later, my sister called back to say that her blood pressure was dangerously high and that they were on their way to the Hospital. She was admitted and I stayed with her almost 24/7 until I had to leave 2 days later. They told her it was a minor stroke caused by hypertension and diagnosed her as a full-blown diabetic. Sugar and cholesterol through the roof. It was so difficult to see her in that bed. A few days prior she was running after my toddler through the sprinklers at the park. She’s 68. She’s home now trying to get back to her old self and struggling. Still has the facial droop and is very fatigued after walking for just a few minutes. She is not her positive self  and very depressed. I’m devastated.

20 days later, I’m able to sleep through the night without the terror that I will receive a call stating that she’s had another stroke or worse. I’ve managed to find a way to simply ignore the possibility. I was angry at my husband for not being as sad as me. For not loving my mom as much as I do. How ridiculous of me.

The D didn’t need to creep up like other times. It just simply knocked down the door the moment I learned of mami’s stroke. I’m fighting. Wishing, hoping and praying my mom will fight too.

Everything is so different now.

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